Excitement.

Ok, so this blog should be filled with current events and fun-filled stories about my life, but instead I just can't stop jumping up and down and getting so excited about my move to Chicago. After speaking to USAA for 2 hours-yes, 2 hours, I now have somewhat of a strategy on what I need to do to accomplish this goal. Even after I had to raise my voice to one of the USAA financial advisors and tell him to 'repeat that in English please.'. I swear, it makes me want to run out and take a finance course. Good thing my brother is a financial analyst!!

So now, all I have to do is get a job and find an apartment and head out. Scary. Very scary. I was sitting in my friend Eric's house last night and realized what I would be missing here, but then, it hit me..this will be here when I get back. A year goes by fast and if I decide to move back, things will be the same after a month of hugs and 'how you doing?' It's like an extended vacation where I get to decide if I come 'home' or not. It's a great feeling!

In other news, I finished the 6th book of the Harry Potter trilogy and am stunned and of course, anxious for the last book to hit the shelves. I swear, authors and screenwriters, and television writers, etc could definitly use the feeling of anticipation against the world if they really wanted to. It's powerful! Just think if book 7 never gets written, how many people would be upset. I mean it wouldn't be World War 3, but there would be anger I bet you. Now, I won't discuss the book online as I don't want to ruin the end, but if anyone knows what R.A.B is, please feel free to comment, cause I'm debating whether or not to read the first 5 books to try to make any connection. (I know..pathetic! Good thing I'm not working!!)

Anyway, that's it for my blog for today. I was told I don't write enough, so I'll try harder. When I get to Chicago, I'll try to keep a blog of all going'ons as I'm sure there will be stories!

Have you ever sat down and really thought about who you have known in your lifetime? Why you run into certain people at differient points of your life. Right now I'm sitting in a cubicle in my old office (two jobs ago) wondering how my life brought me here again and how I never thought I would see some of these people again. One person in particular surprised me. I would not have thought that we would have crossed paths again, but we did. Life brought me here again. I sometimes wonder who else I'll run into later in life. Will my exboyfriend, the person who I spent most of my time with for two years previous, will I see him again even though he's in Georgia?! It's so weird. It's just weird how life somewhat mocks you. You think you'll never see someone again, but randomly they appear. Maybe it's a test. I don't know. Maybe we are suppossed to run into certain people in order to show our strength or our growth?!

So...I'm in Chicago for the second time within a month. I came here hoping to learn HTML and create a fantastic webpage for my mom's new personal chef company. However, as I'm here and meeting people and wandering the city I realize that I could see myself here. I actually secretly came here to check out jobs and apartments. I mean I want to be some high powered account executive in an advertising firm and on the side, be involved in improvisation and theater, so what better opportunity than living in Chicago. The only part that I'm scared about is the fact I'm leaving my friends. I was so excited to find an apartment and a new job, but then I just turned on my instant messenger and realized that those relationships I have in DC will change. The security I feel in terms of just calling someone or stopping by their house won't be there. I mean I can call, but I have started to dislike talking on the phone. I know I can build a network here..In fact, I already met some people here, but they work and they have lives and can't be distracted. Building a network of people takes time..And I'm not sure I'm up for the challenge. I dunno. What am I to do? I am so torn. I think the move will provide me with the backbone and confidence I need to jut move away from tea comfort zone of the MD/DC area, but how scary this whole period if uncertainty is. Sheesh! I can just picture the move being exciting for a week on my own and then I'm alone and I need to push myself like I did in DC..and that takes a long time to accomplish. I'm setting myself up for a hard journey and just starting over..and I'm so scared. How do people do this?

My time in North Carolina...

So I just got back from spending July 4th weekend in North Carolina. I saw my friend Julie who lives in London, but comes back to the states to celebrate July 4th. (Needless to say they dont' celebrate it there!!) It was so nice to be at the beach and feel the sand beneath my feet and hear the waves crashing. The funniest part though, would have to be the life guards, who were in their early twenties, begging for money so they could go to cocoa beach for some lifeguard contest. Umm..I'm unemployed and I would like to go to cocoa beach, so we so graciously denied their offer of having us support them. :-)

I can't believe how everything is so cheap in NC. We stayed near Wilmington--actually in a place called Pleasure Island. And I pleasure it was as the people are really friendly, in fact they are the kind of peopel that will give you the shirt off their back and make you a nice meal and only charge you $2 (and that's for 3 eggs, a biscuit, sausage and a cup of coffee). It's so funny how, coming from a city, you're first impressions of those kind of people is that they are rednecks (or stereotypical redneck sorts) or just not classy at all. And yet, as we met a waitress/cook at a small little diner in Pleasure Island, I understood the simplictiy of the beach and how life isnt' so much about what you have as it is about who you are. I dont' mean to sound cheesy, but it's true. The waitress/cook we met takes care of Julies parent's dog and house when they are away and they trust her. They just do. It's how people are. (Ok...sorry, now I'm getting really philosophical). I mean I dont' think I could live the life of being a waitress and drinking everynight and just hanging out at the beach..as fun as that sounds. I am the kind of person who is motivated and wants certain things..but it's nice to meet the simple people who just live to live and not really worry as much about material things. It makes you appreciate life and humanity as a whole.


So..on that note...hehe...besdies the beach, it was nice to be around Kristen and Julie and just relax away from DC for the short time were were there....
I do want to mention the momentous stop for lunch on the drive back to DC though.... Now, I'm sure everyone has been or heard of Arby's but to Kristen and Julie..the mother of all Arby's lies in Richmond, VA. So we HAD to stop! And let me tell you, it is definitly the God of all Arby's. You walk in and you face a few different stations (salad station, taco station, regular arby's fair station) and you choose what you want. Sort of an upscale dining hall meets fast food mixed into a western themed establishment. It was actually amazing. I had a taco salad and was quite pleased with my selection. I think the meal was overshadowed by Kristen's expressions though, as I have never seen her smile so much then when we sat at Rancho del Arby's (the copywrited name that Julie and Kristen had nicknamed this fantastic arby's while they attended the University of Richmond). I can now die a happy girl from seeing Rancho del Arby's and I recommend if you are in Richmond, you go and visit also..

When did things become so complicated? When did material objects pile up so high that no one could look around? I want to explore the world and see for myself that this world is not just a place of wars and prejudice. However, everyone questions my methods. They wonder why I want to explore the central states of America. Why I want to go to Australia or go on a safari in Africa. Is it that the human race, well, mainly Americans, have become so obsessed with what they have instead of what they actually need? My friend is sick right now and told me she is at work. Her doctor told her to stay in bed, yet no one else in her company can do what she does. How does that happen? When did the values of a workday consist of working a 10 hour day, even when you're sick?

I am taking a break from actually sitting in a cube and conforming to the corporate world. But I'm noticing, life to most is work and what they can buy with that money. Has anyone though about just selling their things and figuring out what it's all about? Isn't there more than sitting and doing what you were told you're programmed to do? Do I have to have a successful job, make tons of cash, get married and have 2.5 kids? Well? I really don't want to, but I feel like crying because no one sees the view I see. No one can accept the fact that a new computer isn't going to make them happy in the long run. As I see it, it's the experiences and memories that make you happy. Not a big-shot job, not a beautiful wife or husband, and not lots of money. I don't want to live in regret.

(Sorry for this rant, but it's just so frustrating to see my friends and family suffer...I'll go back to reading 'Breakfast of Champsions' by Kurt Vonnegut and just shake my head in amazement at the human race ;))

:::the longest day of the year:::

I take a breath and taste the warmth of the air,
The moon waits patiently to cover the Earth with it's faint glow.
People walk around aimlessly to use the lit sky.
They have no where pressing to be, yet are in a rush to get there.
Dupont cirlce is flooded with dogs and wandering eyes.
Eyes weary from almost a weeks worth of exhaustion dart around the city as if there is a secret to find.
Everyone watches each other in a dead silence.
No one yells or screams as the daylight begins to disappear.
The street lights flicker on and off as if welcoming the beginning of darkness.
It is the longest day of the year and everyone in Dupont has come to congregate.
As if it is a sacramental ceremony is taking place, everyone stares at the sky to enjoy the sunset before them.
A sense of peace overcomes the crowd as the sky darkens and the last moments of blue sky disappear.
Peace with each other, peace with themselves.
The longest day of the year is over.
And time continues on.